a quick observation

During a set at Dead Swans, my other half said basically he felt I looked too overdressed for a show, and that got me thinking...I don't really overdress, but I like being a girl, wearing heels and yes okay I probably wouldn't be wearing anything vaguely William Tempest or indeed any designer who dresses Girls Aloud or, Heaven forbid, The Saturdays...however, a a denim shirt, leggings and pvc ankle boots, I don't think that's massively excessive.

I hate to moan, well maybe that's a lie haha, but seriously how boring would it be if you went to a show where everyone sported Modern Life is War shirts and double denim? Or a plaid shirt and denim. I think it's fair play to men as let's be honest unless you love fashion you're not too fussed. Unless it's a show I love, and for Trash Talk I'll be making an exception, I'm going to dress like I normally do. Which is not 'hardcore' but I like it, and I think it makes it less bland than if you have a million girls looking like clones.

I saw a couple of girls turn up wearing high heels, fake tan and Lipsey dresses, and they got so much abuse! I felt sort of sorry for them, they'd obviously made an effort (perhaps misguided) and it made me realise just how much we judge people's music taste based on their apparel. It's stupid, one guy I used to see, he's massively into his electro and the way he dresses sort of hints that, but he also has a knowledge of old hardcore bands, and even supported Terror back in the day. But to look at him you wouldn't think it.

And you know what, those girls, yeh they don't fit in, but as I said to friends, at least they turned up, supported the scene, handed over some money on the door. Shows don't manage to break even a lot of the time so why bother being all elitist about it? Do we want the scene to continue, and grow, or do we want to contain it in our little world of thirty? I think we all get so caught up in our own morality as in, 'why on earth are they here, they aren't here for the bands' or 'they're blatantly just out to get some'. Seriously how pathetic are we to be so bothered by why people are at a show or not. They're here, they've paid, why bother giving them grief?

Of course, some people do just ruin shows, rudeness and discourtesy are not tolerated, I saw a kid nearly knock one of the photographers cameras over out of his hands, and then started to dance in such a fashion that just meant that people got angry. Plus his girlfriend decided to get involved, instead of apologising, just tried to get in a fight. I can understand why tempers fray in situations like that.

I guess I just always thought hardcore was pretty accepting of the misfits and the outcasts. I love fashion and that's not about to change, I like the way I dress and if anyone thinks it's rubbish or stupid so be it. I like to feel comfortable. I have a very limited supply of band shirts, and all of which apart from my Lewd Acts one, actually fit comfortably. My Gold Kids one is tiny, my 7 year old cousin would fit it. My Ceremony one has been worn so so many times it's shrunk upwards. Others are just good for sleeping in.

I will wear the whole Vans, jeans, teeshirt combo for Trash Talk, but I intend to be disgusting by the end of it. Bring it.

over the rainbow

I bought some lovely new shoes today, very impractical but will do very nicely for my friends birthday meal/going out. Lea's going to have a great time, I know, starting off for drinks, then Frankie and Benny's for an enjoyable/fattening meal yaaaay!

My boyfriend finally gave up smoking hurray! massively proud of him.

let me count the ways

ridiculously broody currently. It is horrible. I have no idea why I want to be a wife and have kids and a nice little house, but I do. And I want it all now, wishing away my freedom to be chained to little dependant people...in the 21st century I have all the world at my feet if I want it enough, but my friend Steph has three weeks left until baby number 3 with her husband Jamie...two old work colleagues have just got married and have their baby due respectively, it all seems like everyone has settled down. I would never ever ever pressure my other half into that, hardly fair on him and hardly fair on the fact we are both pretty poor and both need to get better paid jobs in order to fullfill anything like that. In the secret place of here, well okay it's not so secret but he doesn't spend hours on here, he actually has a life...but I just wish sometimes I'd be swept off my feet, but I can't imagine my boyfriend proposing to me...it feels a little sad but I just can't see it. I want to, because I love him with everything I have, and okay we have our fights, and we're not always perfect but there's that irrisistability to him, and I can't walk away.

Eugh I need to stop wanting things....or just keep to wanting sensible non life changing things, like shoes.

happy times finally

I went to Italy last week, it was so SO needed. I felt like a ton of weight was lifted off my chest. It was surprisingly nice to be with my parents. I was apprehensive as we haven't been getting on so well as of late. But we visited Pisa, and Florence again, which were both awesome. I missed my friends, but it makes me more determined that NEXT year I will go on holiday with the girls and boys.




I'm thinking of changing jobs at the moment but I am waiting for things to settle as I'm finally moving out. To an amaaaazing place in town. I'm hoping it will be a really great experience. My room has a balcony and everything so that's almost doubley exciting. It also means friends can now hang out whenever and it's yeh.
I think I'll also eat better when I'm not being given copious amounts of food like I am now, I'm thinking lots of fish and vegetables as that is good for you and amazingly yummy.

I've had a pretty good summer excluding work, Parsons and Vicky have been my muskateers and how great they are. I never feel like a third wheel, it seems we just get on and it's cool. Lea has also been around a lot more and it's just made me realise how much I've missed friends. I'm going out for birthday meals with Steve next week which will be sa-weeet.

I've also had a great week with Gus, it's been one of the best we've had in ages, we seem to be getting on really well again after my amount of stressing out with work. It just kind of proves how much he means to me, I can honestly say he's been well worth waiting for, and something so tentative has turned into something really special.

Dreading work, but on the upside, I get to see Gary soon, and Sam and Amanda get married soon...I might be going to the wedding, really hope so, but if I do I'm excited to see Amanda's dress, and get all emotional during the service. Man I love weddings!

exhausted

So it's been a while. Things have been, weird.

Working 12 hours a day, (for no overtime or payrise) is making everything so so much worse. And being away from dear dear friends is even tougher.

I managed to catch Lewd Acts on Tuesday though which was awesome, I'm a bit behind (just discovered Heathens!) on music and I found out about Lewd Acts through their split with Hour of the Wolf. I like the fact that it's not your basic hardcore with Lewd Acts, their performance was totally solid and yet surprising. They seemed to blow the dust away from all those kids there for Bane (who seem to get increasingly boring each time I see them). It was good, Gold Kids played too, and although they aren't the best band in terms of musicality their passion and dedication makes up for it. I got given the mike for Desperate Souls, which was rad if embarrassing as I think I epically fail when given it! But it was fun, well needed in terms of how much I needed to get out, things went downhill a bit but the show itself was good. I managed to escape during Bane and sat and read during Down To Nothing.

I'm really really excited as I had some conversations with Gary and Luke, both London/daaan Saaaf boys, and I think I'll be seeing them soon. I'm hoping to meet Luke's new lady as she sounds lovely.

I think three girls that I owe everything to right now, Vicky, Parsons, Nina. So supportive and a real real help during this time. Big love.

I went to see 500 Days of Summer with Parsons/Vicky and it was so good to have a lovely lovely time with some beautiful ladies. It was a great film, and the laughs weren't typically American. To be honest it felt more British than anything, everything wasn't in your face. It was subtle and the actors were perfect, and yes we now have epic crushes on the hero of the film, Joseph Gordon Levitts with equal passion (hate) for Zooey Deschanel. It was bittersweet, but lovely. And the soundtrack was awesome.

I'm looking forward to seeing friends...I'm looking forward to seeing my boyfriend.

Holiday soon. x